How do you carry your heart of gold? Are there some mornings where its sheer weight makes it hard to rise? Does it push and pull other organs, throwing its weight around? Does it flow blood the same, push beats the same, feel love the same?
How do you bear a heart of gold? Does each slight cut deeper, each hurt sting sharper? When you give so openly what do you have left for yourself?
How do you feel with your heart of gold? Does each hug feel warmer? Do the kind words, acts of grace, thoughtful gestures fill you up fuller? Do you carry love deeper?
I may not know how it feels for you but I know how it feels for us.
You got up early and baked us all chocolate chip muffins. Your brothers woke to the sweet smell.
You made homemade soaps and let me pick my favorite first. After 8 weeks of quarantine, sensing friends might be feeling lonely, isolated, sad you decided to make “Happy cupcakes”. You baked, frosted, boxed and delivered them all by yourself gifting nearby friends and neighbors with a sweet treat. You composed an original song for my Mother’s Day gift.
Your love of baking and of cooking competition shows inspired you to create a family baking competition. You diligently planned selecting the recipes, making placards and a prize for the winner. I will admit Penny, I had some hesitation. It felt like a lot of work and a whole lot of mess. But even with sharing one oven, one mixer, running out of eggs and butter, managing frustrations and tempers you created for us one of my most cherished family moments. You did that.
Dad and Oliver’s sugar cookies. Oliver even decorated one as a Panda face, your favorite animal, playing to the judge. Lucas’ Rice Krispies treats, snazzed up with a chocolate drizzle. Mom’s chocolate brownies with a secret ingredient, Samoas cookies. I leveraged my insider knowledge of your love of brownies when I selected my recipe.How do you carry your heart of gold? Perhaps to you it simply floats, as effortless as your purest intentions.