At my restaurant I’m only going to serve doughnuts, frosted flakes and the tops of chocolate chip muffins. I’ll have chocolate milk, hot chocolate and champagne for Mommy. There will be no chairs, everyone will stand while they eat so they can dance when the urge strikes and run around the table in circles. But I’ll have tables, otherwise where would you bang your spoon? “The Gummy Bear Song” will be on repeat on the jukebox with the occasional “What Does a Fox Say” tossed in when I’m feeling really groovy. Everyone will come and linger and I’ll walk around and give everyone hugs because I’m so happy they are here and that’s good customer service. When service is done I’ll grab my blankie and suck my thumb. Everyone will politely clean up after themselves and promise to come again.

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