“Is that OK Mama?”
“Right, Mama?”
I hear these questions from Oliver in rapid succession about twenty times a day. Only I can answer and I can only answer with the correct response, “OK” or “Right”. Yes, yeah, a nod will not suffice. At first I thought this a demand for my attention, the youngest of three never seeming to get enough. Then I thought it a form of insecurity, a constant need for validation. Or maybe it is hinting at OCD, repetitive and exact. Or perhaps it is Oliver at five and at six this will all be a distant memory. Maybe it is all of the above. Whatever it is, today it is annoying and exhausting.
“Two drops of pee pee fell in my pants, is that OK Mama?”
“I farted, is that OK Mama?”
On Tuesday Oliver dressed himself and brushed his teeth, tasks that he has been capable of doing since he was three but simply refused to do. On Thursday he showed no nerves as we entered his kindergarten classroom. He explored, observed and understood what his new world will be come Tuesday. On Thursday, for the first time, I rushed a child to the ER. Oliver, playing in our family room, fell and hit his head against our metal coffee table creating a wound so deep that the pediatric general practitioner paged the plastic surgeon. Brave tears, sedation and thirty plus stitches later we brought home a sleeping Oliver who woke this morning as fresh and sweet as ever. He told me that when he runs he feels like his head is tied to a balloon. I told him not to run. We had plans to spend our last summer break day at Kings Dominion. When I told him he couldn’t go he cried with disappointment but was easily comforted. So as we said goodbye to Daddy, Lucas and Penny, Oliver and I headed out to enjoy our own special day together.
Forty three years ago my parents immigrated to America, leaving behind their parents and siblings. We grew up as four daughters and two parents. It was always just the six of us. Our aunts, uncles, cousins miles away and known only as names. A generation later my children have three aunts and uncles and eight cousins on my side of the family. Unlike siblings, cousins share a similar history but not the same roof, eliminating any rivalry or bickering. My children are the youngest three of eleven grandchildren. They are lucky to have eight big cousins who show them only patience and humor, granting every request for a piggy back ride, game of chase and to borrow their iPhone.
This 4th of July marks the end of childhood for the oldest three cousins, Summer, Justin and Simone. This fall they will start college as confident, independent adults. The foundation of family and love will help them make good choices, realize new possibilities and hopefully bring them home every holiday.

Water everywhere
Fill it up, burst, splash, spray it
Summertime is here!
Tagged: fun, sprinkler, summer, water balloons
The end of the school year also means the end of activities and commitments marked with celebrations, performances and goodbyes. This year we say goodbye to LANK after seven formative years, goodbye to an awesome first grade teacher and first grade class and goodbye to third grade homework. Many activities will continue in the fall but for now we get to enjoy a few months of routine-free summer days.
Last LANK Sing-a-long

Tagged: childhood, gymnastics
Lucas’ first day at LANK (Lake Anne Nursery Kindergarten)
September 11, 2009
Tagged: Lake Anne Nursery Kindergarten, LANK, pre-school, Reston
My mom could split an apple in half with just her hands, a skill perfect for road trips and managing four hungry daughters. Moms pack lunches while reviewing homework; set the table while coordinating carpools for soccer, gymnastics, swim, basketball; complete deliverables while crafting the perfect party invitation; blow dry, style and make up while brushing, washing and clothing so that everyone gets out the door on time. Moms rub backs, wipe away tears and band-aid falls. Moms practice diplomacy and bullying, alternatively, as needed.
Tagged: moms, Mother's Day, mothers
I have not said these things to friends or to my spouse, not even to my co-worker who really deserves to hear them. Nope, I have said these things to my children. As the words form on my lips and are lashed out by my tongue I immediately regret them. I am helpless, left to stand there, towering over them as I watch my words crash and land on the wide-eyed innocent face of my child. But I’m too angry to show my cards so I stomp away, curl up in a corner and berate myself.
Sometimes my words are so terrible that I have an immediate, physical reaction, trying desperately to scoop them up, wipe them off their shocked faces.
Either way it unfolds the same way; I calm down, explain to my child why I got so angry and make sure he understands his part in all of this, he says sorry, then I say sorry. Then the next morning or a week later I hear my child repeat those same awful words to his sibling.
Tagged: parenthood